Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Last night at home...


...and I'm writing my first blog!

[Before the meat-and-potatoes of this post, here's one quick word about the title of the blog: it comes from this delightful video, which my friend showed me upon hearing that I was bounding off to Africa for the semester. I doubt picnicface will be relevant to the actual trip at all, but no lie, I'm secretly hoping I'll run into a puma.]

visual aid #1: hypothetical Dubai

#2: Potential Ugandan soil?

#3: What I hope the next four months look like.

Anyway, right now, I have all these snap-thoughts humming through my head...and I think I'm trying to shake the future into focus before it develops. This I know: in 48 hours I will be hurtling over the Atlantic to Dubai; in 72 hours I will be planted in Ugandan soil. But what will that look like? I've sketched out plenty of possibilities in my head (see visual aids) but really, I'm clueless. Consequently, I've spent a lot of the last few days curled on my floor like an over-sized eardrum, listening hard for some kind of inner pep talk that'll make my heart stop beating so insanely fast and that'll let me arrive 7392 miles away without a single misgiving. 

Of course, this is silly. If I try to convince myself that I'm brave enough, strong enough or smart enough on my own to go to Africa, then I will be sorely disappointed. I'm not very brave, nor adventurous, nor profound, and trust me, I would be pretty comfortable with staying at Wake Forest and not risking anything. 

But you know what? I think realizing how incredibly insufficient I am for this upcoming adventure is good, because it reminds me where my true hope and strength and sufficiency lie--in my God. I don't believe that I need to be assured of my worth or my ability to live/learn/research well, because this isn't about me. It's about Him. His sovereignty, his provision, his goodness...Christ's peace in crazy times, Christ's joy in hard places, Christ's endurance when things hurt. I can rest because He carries my burdens; I can risk because He doesn't.
Wow, I honestly intended this first post to be a simple, "Hey ya!" to the family/friends that I want to keep updated on my travels, but I do believe I just went off on a tangent there... But in short, "I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."  I don't know what's coming, but I know my God. He is good, and I am excited.


p.s. I'm packed! Evidence? Behold--

Pre-packed mess...Clif Bars, DEET, The Best Going-Away Gifts I've Ever Seen, etc.

Oh hey, one lift-able suitcase, nbd.
(more to come, much love now)
Mary

1 comment:

  1. My Mary! I am saying prayers today and for the next several months for your safety/happiness/growth. One thing I have no doubt of, however, is your super ability to bring those three things to others! I'm so proud of you and am glad that different parts of the world get to experience your inherent goodness =) I love you so much, I'll be keeping tabs on you from Chapel Hill!

    ps - thank you SO much for the beyond amazing birthday letter, that was a gigantic part of my day - I wish that little Kiersten and Mary could see how strong our friendship has remained! I'm not entirely sure they'd be surprised though.

    pps - enjoy your peanut butter-infused dishes!!

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